Tag Archives: fear

Truth Bombs

Recently, I told a friend to pull a title from Amazon. I read their book and was a little o_0 over it. The title was pulled and I was both relieved and felt terrible.

My critique partner and I were talking over breakfast the other morning and LuLo came up. It was my first real effort at a novel worth publishing and it did not go through a very stringent vetting process. The ladies in my moms group, who I love and adore, were much too nice about my book and well, it sucked. Like a lot. So, I pulled it. There are so many reasons why it sucked, which I can go into at length, if you’d like, but… Anyway. My critique partner was still much too kind about it and didn’t come out and say it, but I kind of wish she would have.

It’s nice to hear your story is fun. It’s nice to hear it’s well written. But if that’s not true, you are doing the writer a disservice. High five for the cold, hard truth.

The more writing I’m doing, the more work I’m putting into it, the more I want to hear honest critiques. I don’t want to hear it’s good if it’s dog shit. I think I’m coming to a new place in my writing, where I’m feeling brave. Where I can send out queries. Where I can get the feedback I need. I’ve been doing more research on the Dunning-Kruger effect. I think I’m getting better at this and I can judge my own abilities better. Or maybe I’m still as hopelessly hopeless as I was before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We report. You decide. heh. or something.

In any case, I feel like I’m taking steps forward. I don’t feel as scared. I’ve written some really terrible stories. And that was that. Nothing bad happened. As far as I know. But, I don’t feel so frightened of sending my books out into the world. I’ve been working through my revision block. And now, this. Things are moving forward and I’m feeling like a new, stronger, braver person.

On Setting the Writing Free

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I’ve finally been sending out my writing to my test readers. It’s more harrowing than I thought it would be. Part of me hopes that they don’t read it, they don’t realize how truly bad of a writer I am (a Greek chorus of “hack!” is singing in my head). The other part knows that unless I get that feedback, those notes, it will never get better.

Six little chapters out there, in the big, cold digital world. I wonder how they’re feeling, if the faces greeting them are happy or perplexed or a little squidgy. As a romance writer, I wonder just how squidgy those squidgy faces are. That makes me laugh, though. The soft glow of a computer screen on my friends’ transparent “Did I just read what I thought I read? … Oh I did!!!” faces.

I wonder if it would be easier to have strangers read it and give me feedback. But the strangers on the internet are a wild and woolly bunch. You only have to peruse YouTube for three seconds before running across God knows what kinds of awfulness.

So. Here I am. In this little area between people who care about me reading my writing and giving very gentle feedback and the hair on fire trolls. It’s going to take a tremendous bucket of bravery to let the last eleven chapters out into the world. A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. I suppose the good ship LuLo will be leaving the harbor soon then.

Picture from www.weheartit.com, attribution unknown otherwise