Finding Time

Or maybe not so much an exercise in finding time as finding mental energy.

My God, toddlers are so much work. I took the kid to the zoo today. We live in Salt Lake City and we’ve had the worst air in the nation. It’s a valley and the nasty air just gets stuck in this soup bowl of shit. It’s so awful. The air cleared up, it was a gorgeous, warm day and we were out in the zoo.

Well, she crashed hard from our zoo adventures. She walks the whole way most of the time. Up and down the hill, back and forth, “Momma momma momma! Come look!” She fell asleep quick. And instead of writing. Instead of being productive, I start half-assing a quickie revision of The Reluctant Veterinarian for my friend as a cheer up present (Hi Heather!) and eating Double Salt Licorice from the Dutch Store (Hi Grampa!).

I knew there would be tradeoffs having a kid. I knew I was going to put so much of everything into her. I knew I’d be up all night. I knew I’d cry. I knew I’d get mad. I didn’t know she was going to zombie pounce on my brains and steal them all.

And I mean, it’s not like what I’m doing is so important. It’s not saving the world, it’s not curing people. But at the same time, the pleasure from reading is far reaching. It’s pleasant to read at the time and pondering on it later is equally pleasant. The pleasure from writing as well, at least for me.

I don’t kow. I’m all rambly tonight. I had to get these little thoughts out from my head. But it comes down to resources, ultimately. Where am I going to focus? I only have so much brain. I know my stories will keep chugging away in my head, until I have the time to write it down and let it come out. But I know my little will only be little for so long. If I put her off, well, she’ll keep chugging too and I can’t just come back to her later. So, I suppose, for now I’ll go to bed with manuscripts under my pillow and days full of the zoo and tea parties and Barbie and My Little Pony to come.

How have you managed to wear all your hats? I don’t know how JK Rowling did it, because even with the hubs home, it feels nearly impossible.

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