The funny thing with depression is, even though I’ve walked this road many times before, it’s usually a huge surprise when I realize, HEY, I’M DEPRESSED!!! and the lightbulb goes off. Anyway. I’m depressed. I’m working on a game plan to get back out and into things again.
So, first things first. My kid lost my Fitbit. She was using it as a pretend phone and I have no idea where she’s put it. I found a new cheap one on eBay and I’m already up to 4k steps and I only had it on for half the day. The goal is 10k a day. Going to be a struggle with the man away on business now and then, but, I’ll figure something out.
I also need to start writing again. I thought my anxiety had chilled out, but what I did was let my OCD take over and keep my house in its neat little comfortable ways. This was here and this was here and everything is just as it should be. Instead of writing, I am doing all this piddly little shit. I am, “Oh, I need to fill the dishwashing soap dispenser.” I am making my bed every morning and making sure my desk is tidy and everything is just so and letting my brain think about all this piddly shit instead of thinking about my writing, thinking about my characters and what they’re doing and how they’ll react. My brain is wasting so many cycles on this piddly stuff. I have to get it busy with novels.
I’ve been listening to Tim Ferriss again. I have to have a better morning routine. What I’m thinking about is getting up at six, before the rest of the house, doing an hour of writing, then walking the dogs with the toddler strapped on my back and doing a mile, then coming back and making breakfast. I think that’s going to be my routine. I need that motion and I need that quiet time. I also need to find a time to write when my decision making isn’t totally worn out. I think this will address those needs.
I’ve got a plan. I’ve got some clear, measurable goals. I’ve got NaNoWriMo next month. I’ve got enough novels in various stages of completion to keep busy for quite a while. I’ve got this. I can do it and I can kick ass. Again. Some more. 🙂
Oh, and I also have a real fun surprise for you on Monday. Another part of my things to do