The Mister got me opera tickets for Christmas and we saw The Pearl Fishers this last weekend.
It was Bizet’s first opera. He was 25 when it premiered. The opera had all the enthusiasm of “First job out of college! Holy shit!” which I found to be pretty adorable, actually. I mean, it was no Don Giovanni, it was no La Boheme, it was no Carmen. But by God, it was very HEY GUYS!!! I WROTE AN OPERA FOR MY JOB!! HOLY SHIT I GOT A JOB WRITING AN OPERA!!!
I’ve had a couple days to dwell on it and several things have come to mind. However, I have decided to split it up into a couple posts because I have lots of thoughts and feels about it.
The part of Nadir was played by the understudy for our performance. His first couple lines, I was a little cringe-y. But, once he got into it, he was amazing. I think his HOLY SHIT!! I AM SINGING AN OPERA FOR MY JOB!! met with Bizet’s HOLY SHIT!! I AM WRITING AN OPERA FOR MY JOB!! and there was an enthusiasm overload. You could see it on his face at the end. He was glowing, he was just so happy. It was nice to see.
I have a feeling that once I have a copy of Just for Kicks, I am going to be the exact same way. HOLY SHIT!!! I WROTE A BOOK FOR MY JOB!! As I get closer to publication, the feeling is growing and growing, but I have a feeling, once I have an actual copy in my hot little paws, my head will explode.
I hope I can always keep this feeling of enthusiasm and love and HOLY SHIT!! WRITING BOOKS IS MY JOB!! Through the editing and when I first started blogging, I was a bit “Oh my God, this is such a shit sandwich, what am I doing to myself?” But you know, it’s really not that bad. For the editing, I am just scratching words left and right. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a bit of a chatty bastard. My work is no different. The difference between the first draft and “finished” is extreme. I’ve been thinking about it as a sculptor would. You know the finished statue is inside and you just need to get it out.
Anyway. I’m just scratching away to get the good stuff out. Ha ha, any surprise that I go of on this long, goofy tangent while I start talking about being a chatty bastard?
So, enthusiasm! I know it’s impossible to be 100% HELL YES THIS ROCKS! all the time, but, I never want writing to feel like drudgery. I know it can. I know a lot of things can. It took us a while to get pregnant with the Entropy Machine and I always told myself I would never take being a mom for granted or hate it or wish I could just be by myself or whatever. Well, same idea applies. Which is not to say I don’t like being a mom. I love being a mom. Watching the EM race around the house like a deranged chaos faerie pleases and amuses me. But, I know this is going to be the same thing. My little books are just more children. I watch them grow and change. I grew them- in my brain as opposed to uterus. My little LuLo is just about ready to leave the nest.
Maybe this is the best analogy for writing. I’m a hardass with my kid. Boundary enforcing and doing all that kind of stuff. But, that just goes back to my laziness. Fix it now when it’s not that bad or fix it later when it takes a drill sergeant on Maury.
Which reminds me, I still need to write my paean to laziness. <3laziness4ever<3 HA HA!
Anyway. This concept is sinking into my writing now too. I used to write "s/he nodded" all the time. I used to use "just" all the time. I've stopped in my first drafts. Well, mostly.
In any case, even if I don't love or even like every second of being a mom, for the most part, I enjoy it. I enjoy watching the EM figure things out. I think it's going to be the same for writing. Some things suck, revising some passages is just craptacular, but I think for the most part, it's going to balance out. The wonder I get from creating new characters and worlds, dipping into another person's point of view, peeking through a different pair of eyes, it's just intoxicating.